3 Pieces Of Info I Wish I Knew Before Starting My Personal Growth Journey
When we meet adulthood, more times than not we are not prepared for it, I know I wasn’t!
After college I thought it was smooth sailing, because I naively believed the false information I was being fed by my school, peers, adults around me, Hollywood, and society as a whole.
That naivety led me to a life that was meaningless. I was stuck in what I call a limbo lifestyle for more than 5 YEARS!
I was living at home, still relying on my parents, doing anything that would accept me, and not working hard for anything I was passionate about.
My focus was on getting through each day and living for the weekends.
That’s what I turned my life into after college and I HATED every minute of it! Hated every minute of waking up and dreading more days then I looked forward to!
Well that hatred turned into self-loathing, shame, negative self-talk, and just an overall feeling that I was living someone else’s life.
It wasn’t until I was miserable every day for almost a year that I realized I was the problem and I needed to change, FAST!
So I started my personal growth journey!
Now, 3 years later — here is what I would tell myself the day that I finally made that life-changing decision!
Learn to fail and fail to learn.
If failure makes you uneasy in anyway, fail more!
Do something small and suck at it! Blow it! Over and over again!
I avoided failure at all costs because I was taught that failure was not an option and could be avoided if you do it right the first time.
Well guess what, most people don’t do right the first time! In fact, it’s seen as a special talent or gift if you do!
Getting used to failure will open up more opportunity for growth as you reshape your mind to approach life with the intention of problem-solving rather than problem-avoiding.
Be careful how you apply the Golden Rule
Growing up I was told the Golden Rule over and over, as I am sure you were.
Treat others the way you want to be treated.
As beautifully true as this rule is, the way I learned it enforced a bad habit that I am still working on overcoming today — people pleasing. I had it BAD.
In middle school I had my mom buy all my friends their birthstone in a necklace so I could give it to them for Christmas. I had 4 girls I thought of as my best friends at the time.
Well those same girls spent that same school year excluding me, talking about me behind me back, making up rumors about me to make themself look good, and would even go out of their way to create days where the whole group would pretend I didn’t even exist called “ignore Kelly day”.
I was so detached and unaware and wanted so badly to be liked that I kept being nice thinking of the golden rule — treat others the way you want others to treat you.
I thought, if I am nice to other, others will be nice to me back. I was wrong.
That Christmas I gave all of them their necklaces. One threw it out in the classroom trash bin before the end of the day. The other 3 never wore it. And I, never got anything in return from them.
My people pleasing tendencies made me terrible at setting boundaries and therefore I didn’t know what a supportive friend group looked like for majority of my middle school years.
Now, I have learned there is a middle ground where you can be kind while also respecting the boundaries you set for yourself by connecting with people who respect and value you enough to do so as well.
No one is watching your every move.
Let me start by saying I do believe in Karma.
Not because I believe there is a force at play bigger than any of us but because I believe our actions have the power to determine our lifestyle.
However, growing up, I believed that I had to stick to the rules and obey everyone’s wishes and expectations of me to achieve success in my life.
This is so false that it infuriates me that I lived by it for so long!
Let me clarify here, I am not telling you to commit a crime!
I am telling you that the expectations and rules others force upon you will not always align with your values. When they don’t align it is of your best interest to set you own rules and expectations, no exceptions.
Never bend your moral compass to please someone else.
No one is watching your life or knows you like YOU.
Every move you make, the one constant that will ALWAYS be there is YOU.
Make your own expectations!
Set and work for your own goals!
Take action on your values and passions!
Build YOUR own life!
Tools to use to start your journey off right!
If you don’t know what that looks like, figure it out and you will be taking the BEST first step for your own personal growth journey!
If you aren’t sure how to figure that out for yourself the biggest tool I always suggest using (and use myself when I need to check in with Kelly again) — Journaling!
I have created this journal for my own deep diving because it has blank pages for me to doodle something out, create mind maps and build visions boards but also has lined paper for me to write freely when I am in a writing mood!
I love this journal for all my mind dumps and reflection sessions!
The Journal of That Girl: Journal of a Dreamer — www.amazon.com
With blank and lined pages — you are free to fill the pages with all of your thoughts! Whether you want to write it out or draw it out — this journal has you covered!
If you want to dive even deeper into this journey, you need to have the right people on your side cheering you on AND challenging you!
I have found that within the Wellness Society!
With our virtual events you can feel connected to other like minded individuals on their own personal growth journey!
With our daily challenges you can hold yourself accountable to taking care of your mind, body, and soul!
And with our expanding list of content you will have workbooks, lectures, recordings, and more right at your fingertips to help you build and live the life you want!
Your personal growth journey is one that will last a lifetime, make it enjoyable AND worthwhile, because why live it any other way!
Join the Wellness Society Discord! — discord.com
Check out the ✨Wellness Society✨ community on Discord — hang out with over 100 other members and enjoy free voice and text chat.
In case you were curious, you are more than welcome to share this discord link with anyone you think would benefit from this community.
